Bumble the Bard: A Letter to the Knights of KEF

Dear Sirs, My name is Meronath, a supplicant I am,

For I've applied to join your ranks and serve as best I can.

I know that you are busy but I've waited patiently,

So I thought I'd pen these words to you to let you know of me.

By some men I'm called Silvertongue, for I have learned to take

The words of our Britannian speech and poetry to make.

To others I am known as Scamp, it is my playful half,

For I've a wicked sense of humour and I love to make men laugh.

I was born and raised in Britain, where still I'm domiciled,

For it holds for me sweet memories from when I was a child.

I own a little house nearby, beside the northeast trail,

Where I run a humble business with magic things for sale.

I've lived long in Britannia and I've travelled far and wide,

I've learned to wield the mace and shield, and archery I've tried.

I've also studied arcane arts from a wise and noble sage,

And so I've learned in some small way the talents of a mage.

Though according to the titles that Lord British does decree,

Men see me as Illustrious, I always strive to be

First and foremost honourable, not chasing fame or wealth,

And I always reckon others as important as myself.

I sometimes dress in platemail and I sometimes dress in bone,

I like to wear a dark blue cloak - a magic one I own.

I often change my clothing but here I must confess:

I've never changed my underwear and it causes me distress.

For there seems to be a strange unwritten by-law of this plane,

That though we can remove our clothes our undies must remain.

And so, in order to avoid my smelling like a goat,

I've started bathing daily in Lord Blackthorn's castle moat.

I've visited your castle here, I've read your stated goals,

And I seem to feel between us the bond of kindred souls.

I don't know many of you (that pleasure lies ahead)

But I hope you'll bid me welcome, or I'll join RA instead!

Yours faithfully,

Meronath.

(Note to the reader: RA = the Red Army, another guild)