Wednesday 24th

I log in and collect my e-mails. The only noteworthy one is a message to all IT staff from the departmental secretary. Apparently one of the women who reports to the Operations Manager has just announced her engagement to a Mr Ted Jones who happens to work for one of the subsidiary companies within the group. The interesting thing is, there's supposed to be a Chinese wall between our company and theirs.

An idea occurs to me. The Ops Manager hates it when I have ideas.

I look up the name of the Company Secretary, then load up a word processor and prepare a memo.

_________________________________________________________________
From: James Haddock, Company Secretary
To: Josephine Masters, IT Department, HQ.

It has come to my attention that you have announced your engagement to Mr Edward Jones of Blue Chip Overseas Holdings Ltd. As you are no doubt aware, a Chinese wall exists between that company and Blue Chip Industries PLC which is your employer. This means that relations between the two companies are strictly at arm's length and free communication is not permitted between them. I must therefore inform you that it is the company's policy that you should be forbidden to marry him.

I have however received strong representations from the Personnel Department and am prepared to take a compassionate view in this case. You will be permitted to marry Mr Jones provided you agree to see him for no more than six hours a week, and provided this time is spent always in a public place and in the presence of a member of the Legal Department who can verify that you are not discussing company business. I am sure you will agree that this is a reasonable and fair compromise.

This matter was brought to my attention by your manager, and should you wish to discuss it further you should take it up with him directly.

_________________________________________________________________

I print the memo off, put it in an envelope and drop it in the internal mail . A few hours later I hear shouting and the sounds of a scuffle coming from the Ops Manager's office next door. I guess that must be Josephine discussing things with him. I wait half a minute and then pop my head round the door. If I didn't know better I could swear that I see the Ops Manager lying prone on the floor clutching his head while Josephine is thumping him with a coat stand. No, it can't be. I must be imagining things. Maybe I'm suffering withdrawal symptoms from not having had a coffee for over an hour. I leave them to it and head off to the drinks machine for a large cappuccino. Ah, that's much better. If only the rest of life's problems could be solved so easily.