Tuesday 23rd

The Operations Manager is back at work after recovering from his head injury. He still looks rather delicate, so I decide I'll try to be nice to him today.

The phone rings. It's Frank from Accounts again.

"Look, I'm sorry to keep bothering you, but this spreadsheet program that I've been using is rather lacking in features. It doesn't do half the things I need."
"Yes, but it prints nicely, doesn't it? And it has some neat digitised maps too."
"I don't want digitised maps! I just want something that will allow me to build a relational database without having to learn a complex language."
"Well what about Visual Basic? That's really easy, and there are loads of custom controls that you can use to make your application look pretty."
"Can I build a client server application with full record locking and control, type safety and exception handling?"
"Of course."
"OK, I'll try it."

Some people never learn.

I'm working late into the evening when I recognise someone from the Audit Group snooping around in the IT Department office. I wonder what he's up to? He hasn't seen me yet, so I quietly pick up the phone and ring the Security Office.

"Hi. This is Billy Chippo from IT. There's a suspicious looking guy in our office peering into all the filing cabinets. Can you send someone to come and check him out? Thanks."

The security people don't get much excitement around here so they're delighted to help. Two guards arrive in twenty seconds flat. I sneak up behind a partition so I can overhear the conversation.

"Excuse me, sir, you don't work in this department, can we see your ID?"
"Here it is. I'm from Audit. I've been authorised by the Chairman to check all desks and unlocked filing cabinets to see if people are leaving any confidential or important documents around."
"Very good. Sorry to have troubled you."

They leave disappointed. So that's what he's up to. I return to my office, shovel all my papers into a drawer and lock everything. Then I go next door to the Operations Manager's office. He's always leaving all his important files and papers lying around. I wouldn't want him to get into any trouble, so I decide to help out by clearing away his stuff too. I open his desk drawers to look for some space, but for some reason they all seem to be full of empty Valium bottles. So instead I pick up a large plastic bin liner from the cleaners' cupboard and sweep everything off his desk and into it. I knot it tightly and place it surreptitiously in the corner of the room, then I leave by the back exit. Tomorrow I'll tell the Ops Manager about the good turn I've done him.

While driving home it dawns on me that the place where I left the bin liner is right next to the bin, and the cleaners will take it for trash. Maybe I won't tell the Ops Manager after all.