Friday 12th

A package is delivered to me. Inside is the magneto-optical drive that was requested by that twit from Public Relations who's always asking for the latest equipment because he's seen it reviewed in Personal Computer Nerd magazine. I tried to put him off with the help of my buzzword generator but he wasn't having any of it. In fact he was quite rude about it. So much so that I've decided to do a 'special' installation for him. He only asked for the drive, so that's all he'll get today. Then when he finds that it won't power up, I'll point out that he didn't ask for a power cable. Of course he'll have to raise another call for that. Then after a day or two he'll get the power cable and he'll find that his computer doesn't recognise the existence of the drive. After much deliberation I'll observe that it would help if he had a data cable to connect the computer to the drive. Of course this will need another call to be raised. When it still won't work I may mention something about the device driver. Needless to say he didn't ask for this, so it will have to be raised as another call... You get the idea.

The phone rings. It's the guy from the agency that supplies one of my contractors. This always means he wants something.

"Hi, Billy, how's things?"

He wants something.
"Fine, thanks."
"Just ringing to see if everything is OK."

He wants something.
"Everything's just fine."
"Good. The contractor's OK?"

He's working up to it.
"He's fine."
"That's good. You wouldn't be considering a rise for him would you?"

Thought so. Let's see what we can make of this.
"Well, it's possible I suppose... Incidentally we haven't met up for a long time have we?"

I wonder if he'll take the hint?
"Oh, I see. Well maybe I could buy you lunch sometime next week."
Smart guy.

I go and get myself a coffee, and on the way back I pass the Operations Manager leaving. Seeing him reminds me of the keystroke logger I installed on his PC last week, so I decide to go and check the logfile to pick up his current password. Then to liven up a dull day I log into his e-mail account and send a few interesting propositions to a selection of female staff. That ought to set a few pulses racing. Afterwards I realise that it might have been more appropriate if I'd sent a separate message to each addressee rather than using a distribution list. Never mind, too late now.